I am ready finally to be real about something difficult in my life, and I share this to help other people who are in a relationship that they may find themselves unhappy and don’t know how to become happy again.
Even if it is only one person, it is enough.
If you’ve ever been in a previously physical abusive relationship, or if you are in a physical abusive relationship now, you need to do yourself a favor and remove yourself from the situation immediately. I have been in several physical abusive relationships, and I have found that it is almost impossible to distinguish if somebody is being verbally, emotionally, spiritually, or energetically abusive to you because they aren’t physically abusive. If you were having trouble distinguishing the difference, there are lots of websites that will break down how the other person is acting and see if that matches the description of your relationship. I had to look at at least 10 different websites to honestly believe that that was the relationship that I was in. It is a hard pill to swallow, especially, when you have children.
If you find that the person you’re with is:
• attacking you emotionally
• saying negative words to you every single day
• tearing down your worth
• judging/shaming your job or your career choice
• talking down to you as a parent
This is their toxic perception. It does not mean that it is truly true. This could also be their own self reflection of their pain.
You cannot make anyone feel a certain way, or correct how anyone feels, so don’t waste your energy trying. Everyone is at a different point in their life emotionally and energetically, and needs to process their own feelings in their own time. As painful as that is if you want to be with that person, you cannot wait for that person to realize what self-damaging emotional effects they’re doing to themselves and towards others. You have to allow that person to have a realization and let them live out their realization.
What do you do when you’re in a relationship that is verbally abusive?
•Take some time to your Self
• Be available to your emotions
• Allow yourself the space to be vulnerable in an open space
Sit and allow all of the feelings and emotions arise and see where your true hearts desire, and your true roots need you to be. If in meditation you find that you want to stay in the relationship, that is your choice. Counseling/ therapy is an option, to you because each of you need your own space to heal and grow. Take some time to yourselves, then come back together to reassess how each other‘s feelings are being processed.
What is not OK is to keep living in a relationship where you are constantly verbally attacked. That is not healthy for you or your children (if you have them).
How can Yoga help you?
Yoga is a self healing practice that is commonly misunderstood… It is something to experience. You can feel something magical that happens, when you step onto your mat and allow yourself to feel: physically, emotionally, spiritually, energetically. When you do this, it gives you the opportunity to focus on how your body is feeling & you begin to re-connect back with your true self. You cannot ignore what your body, heart, intuition, & roots are telling you. After getting on your mat stretching and moving your body, energetic pools in certain areas of your physical body begin to open.
All of our emotions create toxins or chemicals inside of our body, seeping into our glands, which are connected throughout our whole system. Some people hold their emotional weight in their hips, stomach, chest, shoulders, etc. When you start to tap into your energetic body through movement and connection to breath, you are creating space for those emotions and energetic weight to leave your body. This in turn creates space to open for new emotions, new feelings, positivity and opportunities you despite to enter into your body. When you step onto the mat, it is similar to a prayer to your higher self, and the divine.
What happens after you do yoga?
Because we are so disconnected everyday by society and world tells us that we should focus on, we lose sight of what is important – ourselves. After you have stepped onto your mat, every movement that you have made in your body is important. This helps you to realize that you are important. There is a feeling that runs through your entire body through the inside and out, releasing an aura around you (it can feel almost unworldly)
We need to not make a repeating pattern of our ancestors. It’s ok to listen yourself. It’s ok to take time to yourself. Getting past feelings of guilt for giving yourself that time is necessary for you to move forward. This healing serves you, your family and friends, & everyone who come into contact with.
If someone continues to yell, scream, put you down, and have no positive impact on your life, you have the power to stop the repeating cycle pattern. If you continue to allow this treatment, you teach the repeating pattern to your children.
Consider what is best for them, even though it is hard. Sometimes we experience guilt from not being with their father (or in other cases their mother.) We know they need their father (or mother), but it is more important to show children that they (and you) deserve to be treated with respect, love, & kindness in words, thoughts, and actions. It is possible that the two parties will come together & communicate on the same level. It’s still ok if that doesn’t happen because leaving space open for positive people and words, is enough.
How do you not allow others’ words to effect you in a negative way?
It can be very difficult sometimes to not allow people’s words to effect us in a negative way. Misery loves company. If someone is angry, they want you to feel what they’re feeling. You can have empathy towards the other person without negativity, without feeling anger rise up inside you. By carrying those feelings, you create a cycle, which isn’t serving to you or those around you. The next person you meet may miss your smile and laughter.
Your energy is more powerful than you know. We are all connected and we are all one. We are all on the same journey in different paths. This life that we live is not easy for anyone. No matter where you come from, all that matters is how you live your current life.
How do you affect people with positive emotions?
Choose to project love in your actions. Send love those who frustrate you the most, they need it! Those you send love to may not perceive it the way it was meant to be seen, and that is OK. As long as your intentions are out of unconditional love, the higher universe will understand. Everything will come into order in it’s own time. Allow time and space to process emotions and actions in order to move forward.
Giving Thanks, Gratitude, and Self Love.
I hope this helps anyone who is having a difficult time in their relationship, or after a difficult break up. Be honest with yourself. The biggest illusions that we have inside, are the ones we tell ourselves. Sit down and breathe, take time to yourself, and see what arises within you. Take care of yourself first, to take care of others.
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