#day5 of #dare2barechallenge @butiyoga Challenge today is to break up with your scale, fitbit, and micro managing your food.
I struggled for years losing weight from having children. From 220 lbs, to 125. To an unhealthy amount of counting food calories, measuring my body, stepping on the scale, journaling everything I did to lose weight. It was a great motivation. But I had lost myself in the process of finding myself again. Even before I had children, I knew that I had body dysmorphia. I would look in the mirror and see everything I wanted to change about my body. I knew where it all started. I remember as a teenager going to go try on clothes, and I remember my thighs and butt wouldn’t fit into jeans! My mom was super skinny and said your butt looks too big in those, those clothes don’t fit you right, or I had taken it the wrong way, and I had shamed my body for what it naturally looked like, from playing soccer and swimming my whole life. I wish I could go back and tell myself you are the most beautiful creature on this earth and love every inch of yourself and embrace your beautiful body. Who cares what anyone else thinks about your body, it’s yours, just take care of it. When I was in middle school and high school I became bulimic and anorexic. For years no one new I had gone through this. Truly this is the first time I’m speaking up about it. You can binge eat, and under eat, and it all comes from a place in your heart of how much you love yourself. So truly love yourself and give yourself what you need so you don’t have to tear down your beautiful body that you have. You only have this one body here right now, with this beautiful life. You always have a choice. I haven’t tracked my food, stepped on a scale, or measured my body in years now. I’m so much happier than I have ever been in my life. I was at a point once where I worked out 5 hours a day and wasn’t losing any weight, my diet was vegetarian as well. I knew I needed a change and didn’t know what. I was introduced to yoga! I never tried yoga before or even heard of it! Once I started I had lost 30 lbs. of emotional weight I had been holding onto through all of my births. I reclaimed my power, I found my heart, and reconnected with my breath and mind. I’ve been vegan for 3.5 years now and as long as I do yoga and stay vegan I have no worries about my weight. I am doing the best for my body and however it looks, that’s how it looks, through 3 kids and changing how I viewed myself, I no longer look at myself in the mirror and critique what I can change about myself. I love every inch of scars, lose skin, and whatever else. Once you love yourself truly I promise somehow all that self love, those real love emotions send signals to your body, and you start to lose emotional weight you’re holding onto. So let go of what you want your body to look like, and just do the work, don’t look back, keep staying in the present and self love always. Enjoy the process of the sweat, tears, and joy. #selflove #transformation #yoga #selfhealing #weightloss #breakupwithyourscale